There was a time in my life when I believed failure was the enemy. Like Voldemort, I thought it was the thing whose name must not be spoken. I didn’t just avoid failure. I pretended it didn’t exist. I thought that if I simply believed hard enough, smiled big enough, and kept my thoughts squeaky clean, failure wouldn’t dare come near me.

This was during a time in my life when self-improvement books were basically my religion. The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale had truly shaped my thinking. Classic stuff. Written in 1952. The font in my copy is so tiny I’m convinced it’s how they trained fighter pilots back then, but tucked inside the cover was a treasure. My old business card from the early 90s.

On that card was the name of my first “organization.” The FINAO Organization. FINAO stands for Failure is Not an Option. I lived by that phrase. I built my whole identity around it. I was convinced I was going to make a million dollars in by 30. That was the plan. That was the mission.

But here’s the problem. While that motto might be perfect for NASA, it wasn’t great for a twenty-something kid who was still trying to figure out life. I became a zealot for positivity. I avoided the news. I avoided negativity. I avoided people who didn’t match my mindset. I was the guy who would shut down your story about a bad day and immediately ask you what went right instead. What? You totaled your car? I’d say, Hey, at least you’re alive and you have insurance. Two wins. I wasn’t being encouraging. I was being insufferable.

On the surface, I looked happy. Underneath, I wasn’t being real. I wasn’t listening. I wasn’t dealing with anything hard. I buried every uncomfortable feeling under a mountain of positive thinking. And when real failure finally showed up, it hit me like a freight train. I lost everything I had built. I filed bankruptcy in my twenties. I ruined my credit. And I had to face the thing I insisted wasn’t an option.

For years, I couldn’t understand what went wrong. Had I accidentally let in a negative thought. Did I doubt myself for half a second. How could I fail when failure wasn’t an option.

Then a line in Robert Kiyosaki’s Rich Dad, Poor Dad flipped everything on its head.

Failure is part of the process of success. People who avoid failure also avoid success.

That was my breakthrough. Failure wasn’t the villain. Failure was the teacher. Failure wasn’t something you dodge. It was something that shaped you and sharpened you and opened doors that success alone never could.

Looking back, all my failures were stepping stones. My early entrepreneurial dreams didn’t make me rich, but they led me into sales. Sales led me into training. Training led me into speaking. Speaking led me into writing. And writing led me into the work I get to do today – helping people create happier lives.

And here’s the truth I couldn’t have understood back then. If I had hit my goal of becoming a millionaire by 30, I would’ve been the most obnoxious human alive. I would not be the man I am today. I would not have the relationships, the career, the gratitude, or the joy I’ve built since.

Failure didn’t ruin my life. Failure shaped it.

So if you feel like you’re falling on your face right now, let me assure you, you might be closer to your future success than you think. Failure is not the dead end. It’s the trail marker.

And just to prove that failure can create something great, consider this. The French dip sandwich was invented because a cook accidentally dropped a roll into a pan of roast beef drippings. Total accident. Total mess up. Total masterpiece. If he’d lived by the failure is not an option creed, he would’ve thrown it away. Instead, he created one of the greatest sandwiches ever made.

The next time you stumble, try to realize that you aren’t broken and you aren’t done. You’re learning something that will take you somewhere better.

Unless you work at NASA. You guys keep doing the whole failure is not an option thing. The rest of us are good with a little dripping in the pan.